Ghana's English Football Pundit

It has been a year at least since I last posted here. Since then I have not been in Ghana and Switzerland does not throw up quite so many interesting stories. (Although I did see a fight last night between two disappointed Spanish fans!)

As it is world cup time I thought it appropriate to post one of my attempts to be a football pundit. I believe this was for the Manchester City vs Newcastle game a couple of seasons ago. How do I rate compared to Phil Neville!

Ghana Youth Journalism

So, recently, I have not really had much to write about. I have been going about slowly trying to set up an number of projects. Some of them a little secret, (from a few people) and others like pepper farming and pig rearing! (pig rearing sounds filthy!) So, in this little break of uninteresting times I will take the opportunity to promote a new initiative I am running. 

Last year I have the privilege to set up a journalism workshop at Accra high school. It was one of the few things I was able to do for Projects Abroad which was worthwhile. Unfortunately, when they decided to let me go they did not live up to the promise to keep the workshop going. It was a real shame that they couldn't because my journalism volunteers and I had put a lot of work in setting up and running this successful program. 

Anyway, to cut a long story short (and to keep a short blog short) I decided to go back and take it on myself. Not having the support of other volunteers has meant that I have had to change the direction of the workshop slightly. The members of the journalism club, rather than learning how to be journalists, and attempting to practice it. (With me as an editor) Hopefully, with practice, and a little guidance their journalism and writing skills will continue to improve and some of them can form a new age of journalism in Ghana. 

So I am directing (and inviting) you to www.ghanayouthjournalism.blogspot.com to check out the first article written by Gloria Emeka on the Death Penalty. I would appreciate any comments for the students, or myself, with regards to this project. 

(Twitter: @yevucee)

A football blog (kind of!)

Many people in Ghana know me for my football analysis on various shows, but I hardly seem to get out there and write articles about sport. (there is just too much other fun stuff to write about, like getting threatened!) I try my best to get some of my footballing opinions out on twitter ( I have not got many followers, and don't feel comfortable begging for follower...afterall...i am not God...right?) You can follow me if you want though @yevucee) but on Saturday, the day of the Champions league final, MTN kindly f*cked up. This meant that I could not give my opinions, and not involve myself in any of the online banter for and against Chelsea!

So to make up for it, I will write my own football blog, but of course with a slight difference. I could give my full opinion on the game and say that Bayern Munich played better, but that after all the Chelsea have done in the previous rounds verses Napoli and Barcelona, that it was on the cards that they would win. Or I could say that Roberto Di Matteo deserves to take the job for next season (or get a huge huge bonus) for what he achieved this season, but this analysis has been written and said all over the world a thousand times.( My voice would be like a whisper in a mega phone factory) So I will simply write about my experience watching the game in Ghana.

For those of you that don't know, Chelsea are very well supported in Ghana, due to Essien, Drogba and a host of other African stars at the club. This season, until the FA cup final, the Chelsea fans here have been rather subdued. (it is likely some of them have tried to switch allegiance) In the space of two weeks they are back, and almost back to being as obnoxious as the Manchester United fans here.

With my father as a Chelsea fan and due to our rather competitive relationship, I have never been the biggest fan of them. (I am a Gooner!) I went in search of a place to watch the game as a total neutral. My main interest was to see another exciting game to end of a fantastic season. The first place I went had the game on, but no sound. I endured watching the waiter try and try and try to fiddle with the cables in order to bring the sound. It became obvious very swiftly that this fiddling was certainly not doing any good. So as soon as half time came I ran to find another spot, with sound. I found one, and took a seat, which I realised may belong to one of the football fans arguing outside. I was fully prepared to move when the guy came back, but when he did he just stood there and complained to the guy behind me that I was in his chair. I got up and explained to him that he only need to be polite, which caused an almost argument, so I backed down and got on with watching the game. (from a standing position, but with my beer!)

The first thing I noticed, was the guy in the Arsenal shirt. He was shouting about something. I quickly tuned into him to see what the discussion was about.  He was bragging about how Robin Van Persie was the top scorer in the premier league. Now, I am an Arsenal fan, as I mentioned, and I am fairly satisfied with the season, but I am certainly not going to brag about a guy that could be leaving the club at any moment. Also, I am certainly not going to brag in front of the fans from a club that have lifted the FA cup and are in the Champions League final. (Even if they were utter shite in the league!) The arguments fans have here are amazing! They will argue for their team even if they are completely and utterly wrong. I am sure that if there actually happened to be a Bolton fan here, they would still argue that Bolton was better than Manchester United because one of their players miraculously survived a life threatening condition! (Jokes aside, Muamba has given us all an amazing lesson that we all need to check out health regularly)

I then zoned out of this argument, and settled down to enjoy the commentary, that I had missed in the first half. Then we got to the point where Chelsea equalised to push the game towards extra time. I had, until this moment, been rather enjoying the game. Three seconds before the Chelsea equaliser, this young guy in the front stood up and shouted "goooaalllllll yeeeahhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooo". I was thinking that the guy was a lunatic. Usually, as a cross goes in, or if the ball gets slightly close to the goal, someone will shout "Goal" but this was really taking the piss! Then Three seconds later it dawned on me! This guy has been listening to the coverage on the radio! He new what was going to happen before the rest of us! This was going to completely spoil the excitement of the Champions League final., especially when it came to the penalty shoot out.

Penalty shoot outs are certainly a cruel necessity at the end of such a big occasion. Regardless of how cruel they are, they are terrible exciting to watch. Seeing who will mess up, and the agony on everyones faces is brilliant. The excitement is fully and completely ruined with a guy at the front, cheering when Chelsea Score and when Bayern Miss. He then seemed to look proud that he knew before everyone else. Because of this guy, I had to do the unthinkable, I had to choose a German side as the team I wanted to win. I had to do this, because if Bayern Munich scored, we was not going to announce it by screaming and shouting and then it would genuinely be a surprise!

Anyway, the game finished, Chelsea won (surprisingly) and everyone wen wild. (Apart from the Arsenal fan) I did not go wild because the above guy had pissed me off. I remained calm to such an extent that a group of English guys (who were United fans) thought that I was German! After watching the champagne get popped, and grown men using there phones to film the big screen, I decided to move on to meet some friends. (or try and meet some friends as I could not call anyone because MTN is useless!)

Walking out I had to watch my step as mopeds and cars were speeding around with their Chelsea flags as if Ghana had just won the world cup! I was then reminded of another reason why I was a little downhearted whilst watching the game. As I walked along I passed a guy who asked "why? you were not analysing tonight?" It is nice to be recognised, but I really wanted to work on the Champions league final show. I will never be able to play it, so to play a role on a live TV show. Maybe, next year, I can finally get on the final show!

The rest of the night was very non football related. Met up with some friends. Had a couple of beers. had a bit of a dance. Was threatened with a beating or a murder by Marvin the crack addict street boy. and then came home at 4 in the morning. Bulk standard night really!

Ghana Inductions

I thought that it is about time that I use this blog to promote something that I am doing. I have a thousand and one plans in Ghana that I am trying to put into action (leading to a very jumbled brain and probably not maximum productivity)

So, here goes! I am going to offer people who are new to Ghana inductions into Ghana. When you first come to Ghana to it can be difficult to get to grips with all the cultural differences. This can even be the case if you happen to be a Ghanaian who has lived over seas for sometime. The culture shock can be quite overwhelming.

It is important to know where to go, who to talk to, how to talk to people, what to eat, where to eat, how to travel round the city, how to bargain etc etc etc. It is also nice to learn from another foreigners example. The Ghanaians I have seen show people around, try hard to give people the tips and advice, but it is not the same as being shown the ropes by someone who was a newbie in Ghana before.

It is all very well showing inductees how to eat Ghanaian food and where the internet cafe and super market is, but as a foreigner in Ghana there is a certain way we must behave and communicate with others here to make sure we get the most out of our stay.  The best way to get this information is to follow someone who is in the same situation and learn from their actions.

It is also important to note that there are a few safety issues in Ghana. As a foreigner, and perceived to be richer, we can be a target for thieves, pick pockets, scammers, taxi drivers looking to cheat us, and all sorts of people looking to cash in, in one way or another. It is necessary to learn about who to talk to and where to go and other little safety tips and I have the experience to be able to advise on the best way to be safe in Ghana.

And that, is exactly what I am doing. So if you happen to be a new comer to Ghana, or know someone that is coming that may need a little help please give me a call and I will have happy to show you around. Travel on public transport and food are all included in the cost and I assure you a fun trip around Accra.

I have tried to upload the flyer but seem to have some technical difficulties! If you are interested give me a call on 0548754477 or email me at Samuel_polley@hotmail.com

A poem from the past!

After my last post which reached 5 years into the past I remembered that I had indulged in a little poetry around the same time. It was just before I was forced to leave my abode and was having quite some trouble with the land lady there who was nothing short of crazy! She had spent 30 odd years serving the prime minister his tea at downing street that her mind may have been out for revenge on a poor unsuspecting English boy. Anyway, I wrote this piece in an angry 20 minutes. I think only two people have seen this before this posting. Not being a poetry fanatic I have no idea if it is any good! Anyway, try and enjoy! (oh, it doesn't seem to have a title?! will have to consider that!)

Every second, should be a special moment
That passes by almost unnoticed with each breath
During disruption, a moment becomes a season
A cold and rainy period, passion with an unbearable lack of speed

Inner angst rises to scorching temperatures
Which once ignited, is hard to quell
A nightly rest delays longer the troubles
And when the sun lifts from the horizon, the heat follows

This terrorism of the body and soul can destroy
The very ability to smile and enjoy daily events
Contentment seems a distant past
That hope can only drag from history

A battle will ensue in attempt to defeat the stubborn foe
Of unrest, to bring peace and settlement to the soul
First, the raging fir escapes uncontrollably
If failure is reached then even the seven seas will burn

With success, the oceans win out as compromise competes 
With disruption to encourage Joy and laughter back to the court
If time passes and friendly play is found then
The spring season of new beginnings can once again reign.

Hearts vs Kotoko - For the atmosphere!

I have a pile up of things to write about the Hearts - Kotoko derby, the Joy Fm Night with the Stars event and by request from Lucky Heather my war with bracelet sellers on Oxford Street. I have been meaning to write for a couple of weeks but busyness and work issues and health issues keep delaying me. (Incidentally, the work issues may lead to a couple of interesting blogs eventually!)

This time round I think I will focus briefly on the Hearts- Kotoko derby at the Accra Stadium. On the morning of the game I was unsure whether I would go or not but having not been to this fixture before I decided I would be a fool to miss out another year! I called Michael (A Twi speaking German who is an unlikely Kotoko ultra) (yet to have a nickname!) and fortunately he had a spare ticket. We strolled down to the stadium met with Stephan (who's nickname will be revealed shortly) and his friend and looked for a safe way into the stadium. Having almost being the victim of robbery there before I am never to careful about getting into the stadium, but this time we managed to enter with no trouble at all. 

We got some relatively good seats behind one of the goals (which is not to bad because the pitch seems extremely small) and sat down with a mix of fans from either team. For those of you who do not live in Ghana or do not know about these two teams, they have the biggest traditional rivalry in Ghanaian local league football. Hearts of Oak are from Accra and Asante Kotoko are from Kumasi (the second city) They have long been the dominant forces in Ghanaian football and have only recently been challenged for the top of the table due to the large investment being made into the local league here. 

So we settle in to our seats, realising that there was no shade and that sunburn was an imminent problem ready for a good match. Michael, the Kotoko hooligan that he is, had inadvertently warn the colours of Hearts of Oak on his t-shirt. (either not the big fan that he suggests he is or hedging his bets incase of a Hearts victory) The atmosphere was great with most of the stadium full. The two sets of fans were singing there songs and one or two vuvuzellas were ringing out! We were a ready for the game. 

I would love to sit here and tell you all that the game was played with incredible quality but unfortunately that was not the case. To keep the sports journalism part down to a minimum, apart from a few glimpses of some skill from one or two of the players the spacial and tactical awareness of both teams was just not apparent. There was no diagonal runs in the attack, in fact hardly any movement into space at all. If there did happen to be movement the person on the ball seemed not to have the vision to anticipate it. The referee made a few blunders. He missed a couple of bad tackles and punished a couple of good tackles but not enough to suggest that he had been bribed (at least bribed enough) by either of the teams. 

The other on field mistake was by one of the referees assistants. He gave a corner kick when the ball was clearly not out of play. This led to some off pitch trouble when some of the fans from the upper stands started to launch a bottle attack on the linesmen who had to begin to dodge for his life! The police then jumped into action by standing and waving at the crowed! (I can now see why they earned there salary increase!) The Kotoko players also came over to the side of the pitch and begged and waved to the fans to stop bottle bombing the linesmen! The eventually stopped and the pitch was cleared and the game go back underway. (Bottle bombing happened at one more occasion in the second half of the game)

Other points of note in the game where the Kotoko mascot and the eating habits of a german football fan!

The Kotoko mascot is, in fact, a cow! I actually spent the better half of the first half watching this cow mince around the stadium trying to get the crowed singing and winding up the Hearts fans. (Quite amooooosing)(sorry that is terrible!) I don't think I can say much more about him (or her, maybe he/she had udders?)

Now on to Stephan's eating habits. Back home, it is not unusual to grab a beer before the game and a pie at half time! (a big manly meat pie to keep the energy levels up to shout abuse at the opposing fans and players and occasionally your own manager in the second half) Now, Stephan may, or may not be the typical football fan in Germany but it seems that his choice of half time food is...a cucumber! I of course asked "what the hell are you eating?" but he was able to justify his choice due to the high water content! (Fair enough, but he could just have had a bottle of water?)

Oh, by the way, the score is 0-0 and I lost my bet that there would be a penalty before the final whistle!

Kotoko Fan/Hearts Colours!

Cucumber and his Cucumber!

Azonto!

Sometime ago I wrote about dance etiquette (or my perceptions of it) in Ghana and my inability to understand it.

http://yevuinghana.blogspot.com/2010/12/dance-etiquette.html

Now, the dance life here has become even harder. The Azonto dance has become popular on the dance floors and streets across Ghana. Whether in a club, by the street side or at a wedding (or a funeral) men and women are randomly and sporadically breaking into the Azonto dance. Shouts of 'come on Sam, dance Azonto' are worryingly frequent and always ignored. I have a problem with the two step let alone this straight legged, hand spinning dance that at times is reminiscent of a bit of John Travolta in Greece!

If you do not know about the Azonto craze which has hit Ghana and beyond here is a little video to teach you the moves. You will be pleased to know that I am not going to give you personal lessons!

http://www.twitvid.com/SH5DQ

Enjoy, and happy dancing! (Maybe I should learn this dance!?)

People only clubs - Racism in Accra!

A lot of you would not have seen the recent news regarding racism in Ghana. To cut a long story short a restaurant (a stones throw from my house) had a no black policy when it came to a member club. (Italian owned) A policy that seems to scarily hark back to another age when it was seen as legitimate to discriminate against those with another skin colour.

Here is the link if you would like to read further http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-15552093.

This has got massive coverage here and across the world. Ghanaians of course came out very strongly against this and a lot of anti foreign rhetoric was banded about. As soon as I heard the story I thought bugger this could potentially have a big affect on the majority of ex-pats living here who would not even consider such a policy, and the backlash could make things a little uncomfortable. Certainly many of us as critical of certain things we come across in Ghana but to think about race in such a manner would not even cross out minds. My good friend Aunty Melanie mentioned to me yesterday that the only time she notices she hangs out with black friends is when she sees her white face in a photograph. I totally agree with this. To take it to another extreme, when I first moved in to this house (which is full of white people) I could not even remember how to socialise with them! (Incidentally, Melanie cooked me some incredible Roulade yesterday! The first home cooking I have had in a very long time, and damn good food! Thanks Melanie!)

Anyway, this is not going to be a controversial blog to try and push the buttons and cause a huge heated debate. I think the subject of race is one I should probably not say too much about. I was even asked to come on Metro Tv to discuss it and I quietly ignored the invite!

Last night one thing happened which is not as uncommon as it should be. I was out checking out a bash to celebrate Eid in New Town. As I strolled through the crowd of people I heard someone shout, "Go back to your country!" Of course I looked around and wanted to call the guy to come down and explain his sentiments. (politely....) Whilst searching around I was dragged off by one of the guys that were accompanying me. (probably for my own safety, as I'd had a couple of glasses of wine by this stage!) I am not going to analyse this right now because I will probably get carried away.  What I will say is that this is not the first time I have heard this and other similar comments shouted at me as I stroll around Accra. 

I should make it clear that I am in no way in support of the 'white club' and was appalled to hear about it I just want to point out that it is a very small minority of ex pats that think that way here in Ghana and that there are also some anti foreign sentiments amongst some groups also. 

See...very uncontroversial! 

Miss Malaika 2011 goes to...serious!?

It has been a while since I have blogged, and a really long while since I have written about a night out or a dramatic event. There have been a few, including being threatened with a bottling by a street boy criminal called Marvin, whilst trying to protect my volunteers, but those kind of events are old news and boring.

Last night I was fortunate enough to be given a complimentary ticket to Miss Malaika 2011 at the International Conference centre, by a former participant in this blog. I think I called her mysterious beach girl, but she is no longer mysterious, and I have not been to the beach with her for a very very long time!

After finishing eating (alone) in the increasingly boring situation I am finding myself in, there was no way I would turn down the ticket. I got to the Conference Centre and sat down in my seat ready to enjoy my first experience at a 'beauty' contest. Of course I have seen a few on the TV before but never been there in the Audience. The show went rather well, with the hosts, Chris Attoh (the actor) and one of the ladies from Adams Apple (forgotten the name) did very well and dealt with the minor glitches very well. I must admit it is one of the best hosting jobs I have seen in Ghana.

In the talents round one girl did some art work on stage which looked a complete mess until she unveiled it as an African Woman's head. Really different talent, as opposed to the normal dancing and drama pieces.,I certainly have to applaud her courage! After this we got closer and closer to the finale after watching a host of performers, some good, some terrible, grace the stage.  The last round saw the 5 remaining girls answer the question who is more important the house wife or the career woman. All the girls tried to give an answer and most gave decent reasons. Then the last girl, probably the favourite and the most attractive of the bunch stepped up to give her answer....

She choked and the crowed let her know. Lots of "OHHH Geri!!" chants came from around the auditorium and she must have known that this was the end of the road for her.

We then came to the unveiling of the Miss Malaika Queen for 2011. It was all going smoothly and the 2nd place runner up was announced.  Then it was time for the first place runner up, and the first hitch came. Apparently it was a tie! and the tie was between Alex and Geri (the bad speaker!) Of course the alarm bells started ringing! Had they planned for Geri to win? Were they giving her a second chance to prove herself? Maybe!

It was decided that the two of them would be asked another question to see who would finally take the crown. They were both asked what three qualities to be a woman of the millennium?  (Which millennium?)  Alex stepped up first and got a huge round of applause and cheers when she completely smashed the answer for a home run. (I recently watched a baseball movie! (Rounders is better!)) So now it was Geri's turn, could she do better? There was an awkward silence as she again forgot to take the mic from Chris Attoh as she gave her answer. He answer was phenomenal due to the fact that it was terrible. In fact two of the reasons she gave were the same and the other reason was not even a reason. She concluded by saying she had nothing to add, it was a for gone conclusion! Alex would surely lift the crown and settle it on her head!

WRONG!

Geri of course in this story took the crown. It was a tie between the two before the last question but some how her incredibly bad last answer had propelled her ahead in the judges votes. (I was actually how, when there is an odd number of judged how there could have been a tie in the first place?) When she was announced the winner the whole place was in shock and two thirds of the audience just got up and voted with their feet. Everyone left, and no one stayed to see the fake queen be crowned!

I certainly wish Fake Queen Geri the best in her reign as Miss Malaika! And to Alex, It seems your sharp mind and intelligence and ability to talk under pressure could push you further up the ladder than a beauty Queen!



As the show went on we reached the finale, with the girls all answering a question on who was

Kept awake by religion!

So, this is just a quick post with an example of both noise and religion. I came home last night not long after midnight after a great show at Alliance Francaise. The singer KG (South African based in Canada) blew me away and must be the best female vocalist I have heard live in years. Despite the good music my sometimes uncontrollable mood was not at its best and not helped by my neighbour who was making a little noise. (to say the least) Here is a little example of what religious noise can sound like here!

I have added one or two random Ghana pictures also so incase you get irritated by the sound you can mute your speakers and have a look. The first picture is where the noise was coming from. Check out the massive Coconut! And look out for my Ghetto cleaning lady!

Ghana Safety Rejoinder!

Just a quick note to post some worrying safety news. Many got a little frustrated with me portraying their beloved Ghana in a negative. Well since I have posted I have had various guys from overseas pick pocketed and more worryingly in the last week I know of three foreigners (who have recently come to Ghana) who have been robbed with men wielding Machetes! They were slapped with the flat side and a couple of them were wounded!

Fortunately no one was seriously injured but I must say this has got me a little worried!

Pick pocketing genius!

So when talking to the newbies in to Ghana I always warn them that they have to be careful of pick pockets. The Artful Dodger and Fagin's gang have nothing on the guys out here. They have some incredible techniques, as i mentioned in a previous post regarding the football stadium thieves. Obviously busy areas and clubs and any kind of event holds its risks.

I always mention that anyone needs to be careful on a Tro Tro. I have lost a phone and a camera over the years on a Tro Tro but today I saw an elaborate plan to steal. (I have been thinking about it ever since, I shouldn't be, but I am quite impressed with them!)

Right, here goes. I was with a volunteer, taking them to a placement. We were waiting for a Tro Tro and as we went to get on a gentleman said after you. As he said this a guy charged through to get on just in front of us. My volunteer sat in the middle seat between the guy that charged on and a random woman. I sat behind my volunteer and next to the guy that said 'after you'. (I hope your staying with me here!)

I can not remember an awful lot about the two men. The one next to me was not dressed badly. He had a pair of black shiny (quite smart) trainers on and was not dressed shabbily. The guy in front was dressed well to. Not in a suit but smart casual, maybe like the guys I used to go to the University of Ghana dress!

So when we came to pay the mate for our journey, the guy next to me passed his money to the row in front to give to the mate. Instead of passing it to the random lady who was closest to the mate, he passed it to the guy in front of me. (the one who had charged on!) who then passed it over to the mate. The mate gave him his change and he passed it back to the guy next to me. As he passed it he (accidentally?) dropped the two coins on the floor. (right at my feet)

I could see one of the coins so I picked it up and gave it to the guy. He then went about looking for the other coin. At one point he had his kneed dug into my leg. (which was a little painful) He was (i thought) looking around on the floor. I was focussing more on the fact that this guy was shoving his knee into my leg.

This is where I take the accolade of outsmarting the thief. (Although I was not quite sure if he was at this stage) I realised that the whole thing was a little strange, and this guy did not seem to be looking so hard. He had his bag right next to me and his hand was under the bag. The sneaky (f**k) was trying to sneak into my back pocket where my wallet was. He must have been looking at me for sometime before when I took my wallet out to prepare for the tro tro ride.

Anyway as I realised (kind of realised) that he was a little close for comfort and I put my hand on my back pocket, he sat up and said ' oh, I will just pick it up when you get off!' It was then my stop and I carefully slid passed the guy to get off. I was not quite sure if I was right of not at that stage so I did not make any accusations but after a little think I marveled at this thieving technique!

You should let me know if you know of any other techniques we need to watch out for!!

Where is Yevu.... (in Ghana)

I have often wanted to provoke some kind of reaction to my blog, at least get a few comments here and there. The last blog about safety has certainly got some discussion flowing which is great but I need to point out that Yevu in Ghana is in Ghana and not anywhere else.

I guess it seems that a lot of my blogs come across as negative viewpoints on Ghana. I assure you that I enjoy being in Ghana and although I may write about some negative elements I also think, write and enjoy the positive elements of this country.

People hear a lot about Ghana and Ghanaians around the world are the first to be proud of their country. (and rightly so) But people do not really give a balanced view of what is happening here. I probably do the same when talking about the UK, although I know there an awful lot of negative things to discuss in my country. I remember a lecturer at the University of Ghana telling our Masters class that all white people are racist. I certainly had a little fight against this one, but it was her view from living in the states (and reading quotes written in the 1800's) that this was the case. (Although I don't think "all black people are lepers" is quite relevant in todays racist rhetoric!)

Anyway, this was not supposed to be a rant. Just purely to say that if you offended by the blog in anyway, I apologise. But it is Yevu in Ghana, and not Yevu anywhere in the world. I just write what I see and hear about however controversial the topic.

Ghana and Safety!

My job requires me to talk to young volunteers about safety issues in Ghana. It is the usual scare people about a new city speech, which is aimed at pushing these guys into being safe. I start with a little bit about pick pockets and how they are very clever here. They will get you on the Tro Tro, waiting for the Tro Tro, walking in busy areas and going into any event (such as a football match...story to follow). I then talk a little about going out in the evenings and not trusting everyone that comes up to you and guesses where your from and tries to be your 'friend'! I also let them know just to look out for each other and each others belongings and make sure people do not make any stupid friend choices.

Now the reason I start with this is because when living here (and not on a short visit) it is difficult to abide by these suggestions all the time. Definitely I have learnt my lesson whilst sitting on public transport, having lost a phone and a camera over the years whilst sitting on a tro tro. But when it comes to day to day normality sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone.

The issues for me (and some others that I know) are that we can not always be out and about with a big group like the volunteers in Accra. They certainly have that comfort zone and there are always people to move with. For those of us living here, it is only one or two people we will be out with in the Evening and when and individual feels like leaving they may have to leave alone. Then there is the issue of taking a taxi alone in the night or deciding to walk if it is not to far away. (For us in Osu everything is walkable)

Now, recently I must admit I have become a little more intimidated by my own vulnerability in Ghana. Over the years I have always stuck out and I understand that my skin colour is certainly an advertisement for alleged wealth. People have always called out to me as they will for anyone that comes to visit or live here from outside. But recently it has been a little bit of a different feeling. I am hearing more and more stories from people about being robbed (not pick pocketed) when out and about in Accra. I am beginning to look at people with more suspicion when they approach me or try and be friendly with me. It is rather sad!

Not so long ago on Oxford Street (the Accra one!) I was walking along typing on my I-Phone and passed by 4 guys standing by a lamp post. It was one of Ghana's many holidays and not many people were around. It was weirdly quiet for the day. One guy started shouting at me.."hey.. hey.. hey" in a booming voice. I was pretty pissed off and almost stop to ask him what the hell he wanted but something in my told me 'no mate, carry on and just look over your shoulder'! So thats what I did he said "come here come here I like your phone!" I turned round and told him that my name isn't Hey so he should get out of here, and walked off very quickly. I am pretty sure that I have had stopped to talk to him I would not have my phone anymore. This is not the only incident that has happened and on a few occasions I have found myself running home (drunkenly) in the night because I am sure that I am being followed! (I sound like some paranoid guy now I know!)

Even the clubs are becoming aggressive. When trying to act chivalrously when a very big and tall guy was trying to latch on to some of my female friends, I ended up the one in trouble. All I said to him is "its ok!" as in please let go of my friend and move on. He did let go of my friend (which was great) but then he moved over to me and told me I shouldn't fucking talk to him or he would fucking punch me! Ok wonderful, what do I say to this guy who is towering over me. I decided "its ok" would be enough to make him move on. It didn't, and he continued his aggressiveness! I wasn't going to back down, but I certainly wasn't going to fight this giant. I held my ground until one of his friends decided that it would be a good idea to remove him form the club. (saved!)

As I mentioned earlier, it is not even safe to go and see a football match. I was with 6 of my volunteers trying to get into the world 11 vs Africa 11 peace match. It turns out the 7 of us were the only one trying to get into that particular gate and the other 20 guys (all holding some kind of handkerchief or towel) and all in everyones pockets. we had a phone stolen, that was recovered, but while it was recovered his wallet was stolen. My new journalism volunteer has hr bag knifes as she was surrounded by about 6 guys and they tried to steal her SLR camera. Fortunately she fought them off and ran away. In the end we had to get a police escort into the stadium!

So these are all stories where no one has been hurt but whilst thinking about writing this blog unfortunately someone was hurt. I would love to mention names and nicknames but I will let this person off and allow them to remain anonymous. My friend decided to go out for a run in the evening. Around 8 o clock, so nothing we wouldn't do in the the UK. After a few twist and turns she became a little lost. As she was running past a group of guys on a corner one stood up and smacked her in the face. (not a small punch if you saw the swelling!) After a little scuffle my friend ( very fortunately) managed to get up and run away! We do not really want to think about the motives for this attack (whether theft or something more sinister ) but whatever the case it was brutal and terrible.

Does this mean we can not be free at all in this country? Should we always remain inside and fear walking out? Do we all have to remain in cars to travel small distances? Personally I can not live my life like that and I will try to take little risks here and there if I can. I hope those around me also don't give into the fear and continue to go out and tr and feel free. We all need to be careful for sure but the sad thing is I know this will not be the last time I blog about personal safety!

PS MUM! If your reading this...dont worry too much! I am fine!

Shane the Cricket!

For a few weeks I have been sleeping terribly! I don't really know why. Sometimes when the moon is full I have a terrible nights sleep (some seem to think I'm a little crazy for thinking this!) and the stormy weather has not helped, but generally I have been very restless. Many of the nights in question as soon as the sun went down a very loud 'cheep cheep cheep' of a cricket. Now many may call me lazy but for some reason I put up with this noise for two weeks. (if not longer) Mainly I think this was because by the time i noticed him (I don't know why I think it's a him, it's normally women that make more noise!) I was dozing or couldn't be bothered to get off my bed to find the bloody guy! Usually crickets and frogs are known to sing you off to sleep. But when one is there alone with you in the room, it really is not the case!

Anyway, one night I was on the phone very late (early in the morning). I could not for the life of me sleep and this guy, who became known then as Shane started singing away! This night he was particularly loud and really driving me crazy. I decided tonight was tonight that I would hunt him down. It was tempting to get rid of him maliciously because of the trouble he had caused me, but because he now had a name I could not kill him. So I decided to catch him and let him out to annoy someone else. After all he was probably just singing away in an attempt to get laid! How could I deny him that privilege!

So i pin pointed Shane to under my desk and very soon I had spotted him. We looked at each other, we both froze and then Shane just sidled seemly unfased under a book as if to say, 'what are you looking at!' I spent the next ten minutes trying to catch Shane in a mug.  It didn't seem to work very well and he evaded e very easily. But then finally I caught him. I trapped him on the wall and then slid some paper over the cup. I carried him outside. As I removed the paper and looked inside the cup carefully, I realised that Shane had escape!!!! For crying out loud mate, do me a favour and remove yourself form my room.

I went back to look under the desk and sure enough there he was. Chilling! This time I went to trap him with the t shirt. I threw it at him and craftily Shane jumped and avoided the T-shirt and landed on top of it! Any way to cut a long and pointless story short i finally got hold of him and let him go outside.

I was left inside and still could not sleep! I wonder where Shane is now?!

Togbega funeral! Part 2

So the day of the funeral, after waking up (woken by the cannon!) and having breakfast I managed to catch a shower (bucket shower..cold water!) at Mummy Evelyns house. After feeling refreshed I put on my funeral shirt and headed out on my way to the palace and the funeral grounds.

I now know what it feels like to turn up wearing the same clothing as someone else!

I met with Gifty (from the previous blog) and we joined the queue to go and see Togbega laying in state. Of course I had been in the building all night and could see his bed, but I had not actually gone to see him. We gave a little donation and after a wait we finally moved inside. First the wife and children were there to greet everyone. I noticed straight away that the young son (about 15) had great poise and demeanor for a young man at his fathers funeral. The two sisters (both beautiful) were next to him clearly struggling with such a hard occasion. Throughout the whole ceremony the whole family showed themselves in such a good light. I have an awful lot of respect for all of them.

Romeo leading in Rawlings!

A few of the invited guests started trickling in. Jerry John Rawlings, former President of Ghana, came very early. I was really impressed with the way he walked in and offered respect to all the traditional leaders surrounding the area. Then in followed the current MP of the area and District Chief Executive as well as a few interesting faces with them! (politics is very interesting. You can always see the people that only want to be close to people for their own pockets following around certain political figures!(it is always the same snakes!) It is really unfortunate I can not mention names here and discuss some of the "things" that they have been up to and the disloyalties aired in public!

The Drummers! The played everyone in

Anyway, I seem to have gone of the topic here quite drastically. The funeral was largely speech based with chiefs and dignitaries all trouping in to greet the family and take their seats. I must say the organising committee did an excellent job in arranging such a massive event. I think roughly 5000 people turned up form all over the region and in form other parts of the Accra and even from overseas. The car with Togbegah in was in the middle of the big square. I managed to get myself a seat with

the planning committee and sat down to relax in the shade (still hot!) and listen to what was to be said and watch the traditional dancing. (mixed with a little humour) At one point a man in a light grey suit (looking like he was coming from the financial district came out into the middle of one of the shows with a newspaper and started reading it! I am not sure whether he was part of the fun or a little bit mixed up!

The Hearse 

This is the talking drum. This guy would talk to each different chief coming in and welcome them with his drum. The other drummer for the chief would reply.

These girls are the Chiefs Mourners. They walk round slowly draped in beads and with solemn faces. It is really interesting to see and they really are emotive! 

I took to picture of this lovely lady. The first one she stood to attention like a stern army officer. I asked her to smile but she pointed out her lack of teeth could make it a problem. This is as good a smile I could get out of her. She was nice though. (and maybe a little Drunk!) 

The Financial District cultural dancing gatecrasher!

This lady apparently attends all the big funerals. She wonders round with a massive shot gun and with one arm (and a lot of attitude) shoots it into the air. She made me jump out of my skin about 100 times that day! (It was a really big shot gun!)

So after all was finished we all went back to the house of the wife of Togbegah. She had prepared food and entertainment for everyone. the food was great and I had a couple of beers to. It was a really nice wa to unwind and catch up with people from my previous years in Dabala. Its was really nice to see some of my former students and other guys I knew around the town. They always make me feel so welcome and I must admit its been great to see these guys grow and progress. People I taught are now becoming teachers themselves! (kinda weird)

The day of the wake! Togbega's funeral 1

Today I woke up next door to a dead person. Infact I could see the bed he was lying in from my sleeping position! After being woken up by the gunshots, drumming and women mourning i made my way outside. The place i was staying was built specially to house the dead chief Togbega. He has been dead two years now and finally it is time for him to be sent to the other side to be with the Ancestors.

As I made may way out of my air conditioner sleeping place I see people busy tidying up the area after last nights wake keeping. There was either a live band or loud dancing music to follow. I took part on both as much I could!

Everyone around is adorned in red! This gives some the chance to wear their Manchester united shirts whilst others buy either a togbega t shirt or the special cloth. (which I'm wearing in the form of a shirt as I type this) those who can not afford still join in by wearing anything read they can find. Scalves, football bibs and old tshirts, all in red, are everywhere!

You may wonder how I end up sleeping in the building built to house the dead chief whilst he lays in state, that will follow shortly!

Togbega was the paramount Chief of Agave Traditional State and had ruled from 1992 until 2009 and his untimely death at the age of 55. Togbega was someone I respected very much and was fortunate enough to have the chance to speak to at great length. As well as interviewing him for my thesis I also went to him in his traditional role in order to ask his advice on a project I was managing in a local village. Of course the advice was so good and I can certainly credit him with te success of the project. His words were always humbly accepted!

Now I am waiting for some breakfast at Evelyns (a friend and mother from long ago) The breakfast is kind of strange but quite refreshing after being woken up by a cannon!

My tea, sugar bread, Carrots and cucumber!

Mummy Evelyn and Giftee! My political family

(Please forgive me for now going to past tense!! I am no longer at the funeral!)


On Friday evening I made the journey to Dabala in the Volta region to keep wake at togbega's funeral.
Unfortunately, due to work constraints (bloody work!) I could not attend the start of the funeral from Tuesday, but I was determined to keep wake on Friday night. I got there, changed into my funeral wear ate some Banku and then headed to the palace to watch the big screen where they were showing videos from throughout Togbega's reign. Was really wonderful to see the people giving so much respect for a traditional leader. The Church spends a lot of time castigating the traditional practices and I am happy that people still maintain the strength to respect traditional rulers.

During the video, I had the honour to sit with and talk with some of the late chiefs family. In fact, as you can see I became quite close with his older sister who swiftly proposed to me! (Of course I accepted! Would be rude not to right?!) And that was when they insisted that I sleep in the building specially built to house Togbega as he lay in State.  They were worried as to where i would sleep and made me promise to come to the airconditioned room with the family  if I don't have anywhere. It was extremely lovely of them and I appreciated the few hours of cool sleep i got.

Anyway, after the video, I went out to the mini street party that was happening. I danced and drunk with the locals for sometime, watched the live band at the palace and then decided that it was about time I lay my head down. Now we have come full circle to where I started the post! I will continue saturdays events in the next post.

Downsboy

Offering theif. Crediting his account

CRASH!

After all my talk of Car accidents it was inevitable that I would be involved in another one sooner or later. Well yesterday the time came where my life was at risk in a tro tro again! ( I think maybe I should find a way to fit in Drama into my name and join Dramalison!)

I have so much to write about my weekend and so many pictures to show people from a great funeral for a great chief, but firstly I will briefly talk about the accident!

We were on the way back from Dabala, Volta Region, in a Trotro. After we left the storm swiftly moved in and we were battling against the rain and the wind. The driver seemed a little over confident and on a couple of times I asked him to take it easy. He brushed me aside whilst talking a lot to all the passengers, he was in very high spirits. He drove fast at every given opportunity so I had made up my mind to tell him when we got to Tema motorway that he should please be careful. Tema motorway is arguably the most dangerous road in Ghana with so many accidents and deaths occurring!

Fortunately some of the people on the bus had been finding it funny to wake me up as I fell asleep. (It wasn't funny at the time!) So when we reached the motorway I was awake and I mentioned that I feared this road so he should be careful, because it is dangerous. he said "its not dangerous to me"! Great one mate! I was pretty certain something was going to happen and I was wide awake. I asked him to be careful on a couple of occasions and the rain was getting worse. On the third occasion the driver moved out to overtake a tro tro and front of us. As we moved out the the tro tro in front also moved out. I told him to slow down but instead he swerved! (He could have easily just breaked and we would have been fine!) But no...after swerving he could not control the vehicle, we span round and then smashed off the road backwards!

I (probably irrationally) dived across to the drivers side because I was worried that my head would go out of my open window if we flipped over. I must admit it was quite a scary moment but as we came to a halt in the undergrowth everyone was ok. (and screaming JESUS JESUS!) (Maybe they should have screamed that before we got the crazy driver!)

We moved from the car and the police patrol passing picked us up. The driver lied to them so that he did not get arrested for dangerous driving! He said we were stranded and the police believed him. (I must say on this occasion the police are doing a good job patrolling the motorway) I was aware that this stretch of road is known for armed robbers also so I was thankful the police were there to pick us up. We got to the roundabout and then had to find our way home!

Anyway, I am now off to the clinic because I have a slight swelling on my back. I think it is nothing, but i have been compelled by everyone to get it checked out!

Unpredictable Ghana!

Firstly I realised that if I mention Wanlov The Kubulor in my post I get a lot more readers! So I have done it again to ashamedly get more readers to my blog. Thanks Wanlov, and once again very entertaining show last week! Here is a link to one of my favourite Kubulor tunes!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnRvsvLlrZA

I am also almost getting to my thousandth viewing. I will have to think of an interesting story to post up to celebrate that!!

Anyway, on to todays musings! Ghana is the most unpredictable place I have experienced! (I have jumped straight in this time!) This can be a positive and a negative thing and I will try my best to give a balanced view! (Although those that know me will realise I am far better at complaining (its an English thing maybe?))

It really is difficult to predict what will happen to you on a day to day basis in Ghana. Planning sometimes is just not worth it. You can plan a whole day, and wake up in the morning ready to run out and achieve your goals in the hope that you will feel satisfied at the end of the day, but then everything changes. You wake up, get to the shower, and there is no water. Ok no problem, you can fetch some and bucket bath with just a little delay. Then as you get back to your room to iron your shirt, the power goes off. With another little delay maybe you can find a shirt that looks ok and then head out of the door.

After this you can have the problems with transport, finding a taxi (or tro tro) hoping it doesn't break down on the way to your first port of call and hoping they have change for you at the end of the journey. (or else they have to go round searching for change from everyone in the area!)

So you get to your destination for a planned meeting. And you have to hope that the person has reached the office. (remember he or she will be facing the same difficulties) If they are in the office, its likely you will have to wait for them for a while, or someone else will nip in front of you to have a short (long) talk. With all this going on, you will regret making your second appointment so close to the first one and will have to call to either postpone or cancel the meeting entirely!

This is just a small and short example of how unpredictable Ghana living is! Anything to do with time is a doubt. Water and electricity can not be assured. Women chasing me is very unpredictable (although more often than not they are not!!) Going out or staying in can also not be planned. (Many an evening I have planned to stay in and I have ended up on a big night out until 5am!)

Career wise I am a little annoyed with this element of Ghanaian life. Lack of communication at work leads to new tasks popping up without any notice. But also in the TV industry its difficult. Whereas last month I was on tv all the time. Getting shows and acting in series. Champions league, Afia Schwarzenegger, English Premier League. But this month I have hardly has anything to do. I guess that the nature of the game and here even when you are good or better than others (I am not saying I am!) you do not necessarily get given the gig. It is who you know, who your family is and who owes you!

But if not for unpredictability I may not even be in Ghana now. I kind of came on a whim and hoped that things would work out. The TV work came because I was going to buy sweets in the evening. (check out an earlier post) I randomly came to this house where I met a lot of good friends, which is how I secured the job I am doing with the volunteers now. So certain things are definitely positive about the nature of Ghana. If things are going badly, it is not long until something strange will happen and you will be on your way up the ladder!

Please leave comments and get back to me with your experiences of unpredictable Ghana!